Tamil SMS Jokes & Tamil Kavithaigal

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

STUDENT: A teacher

TEACHER : STUDENT, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as yourbrother’s. Did you copy his ?

STUDENT: No, teacher, it’s the same dog !

TEACHER : Now, STUDENT, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

STUDENT: No sir, I don’t have to , my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !

STUDENT: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.

STUDENT : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
STUDENT: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Honesty is the best policy….

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained. “I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”

“Don’t worry,” Jack said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.”
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north AB out 9 months ago ?”

“Yes, I do.” said Bob

“Did you, ER, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?”

“Well, um, yes!,” Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, “I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?”

Bob’s face turned beet red and he said, “Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“She just died and left me everything.”

 DIVORCE VS. MURDER

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eye got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license!

They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Clever Girls

A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: “You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you’ll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you’ll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I’ll open the door for you”

The boyfriend says: “Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”

“Oh my God!! You’re not coming empty-handed, are you?”

Sardar and ducks

A sardar went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks.

He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an honorary game warden who didn’t like sardars.

The game warden ordered the sardar to show his hunting license, and the sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from Ontario. This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin’ license, boy?”

The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said “This ain’t no Quebec duck. This duck’s from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?”

The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Manitoba duck. This here duck’s from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin’ license?”

Again the sardar reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the sardar “Just where the hell are you from?”

The sardar smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, “You tell me, you’re the expert.”.

To: My loving wife

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room. So he decided to send an E-MAIL to his wife.

However he accidentally typed the wrong e-mail address and without realising his error, he sent the message. Meanwhile,

Somewhere a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her mail,

Expecting message from her relatives and friends.; After reading the first message she fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife
Subject: I’ve just reached
Date: 13th Oct 2006

I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to sent e-mails to your loved ones.

I’ve just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you.

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was;

MORAL OF STORY – be careful while sending mails if not mishaps like these happen